Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
