you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
