I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
