I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
