Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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