when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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