i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
