At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
