I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize