you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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