last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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