i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
