after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
