I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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