WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
