that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
