hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I CAN MOONWALK!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
