Why does Corona taste like a burp?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
