Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
