Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
