my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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