Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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