There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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