think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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