dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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