can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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