loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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