Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
