Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
