Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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