I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
