you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
