weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize
