didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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