That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
