His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
