This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize