i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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