fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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