His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
