Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
