I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
