I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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