so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A+ Viking dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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