Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize