There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
