they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
