I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
