we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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