We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
