I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
