some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize