Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
