Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Sext me about skeletons
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
