So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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