I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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