Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
