I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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