and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
